Kathy was always concerned about all of us Bastian children and the cousins. She fed and housed us on several occasions when any of us where passing through or for family milestones, blessings or baptisms. I feel sad for her passing but relieved that she doesn't have to deal with all the pain and suffering she endured everyday. I feel blessed and grateful that she was part of our all lives.I also can't help but think of our mom Sheila and her mortality when I look at this photo. I admit I have become a bit lax writing and calling her the past several months. I admit her dementia depresses me and makes me feel sorry for myself when she tells me the same "stories of her at Pearl Harbor during the WWII" when I call. She actually cries openly, and I cry inside. I think I have been grieving the lose of her even though she is still here. As awful as this sounds, I think in a way it has just become easier to distance myself for her. Well, Don gave me a soft reprimand a couple weeks back about not keeping her informed about our lives. I knew I was in the wrong, and I have started to write mom a letter every Sunday. I also just made her a photo book of my kids and her at their home in Cascade. I also am working on a book of Athlyn, Ilene and I when we took Mom to Hawaii. I know she may look at the photos and not remember my children or the times any of us spent with her anymore, but I have decided like Athlyn said in her email to all of us, that we need to "treasure every moment" happy or sad with Mom regardless. In the end Mom may outlive us all, but for now I will think of each week as a prized time with her.
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